The thing is, the people that matter know all about me and are happy for us. I was taken aback, I said no, and that was the end of that situation. Once you get to a certain age, you start to understand that you need to want more for yourself. I'm a guy and my wife has endometriosis so sex has been painful for her at times. Be honest about what you’re feeling and what you need and maybe it’ll prompt him to be honest in return. That's okay. If he’s been wishy-washy with you from the beginning, then his texting is a reflection of how he feels. Please consult a doctor and also a therapist. You don’t have time to waste it on someone who doesn’t value it. Like you had no reason to talk to him that way. This is the most obvious sign a guy will ever show, and though one of the most painful, it is the most honest. A sudden random “how are you” text/call: Though he is ignoring you, if he thinks about you daily, he tends to start missing you more and more. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. It doesn’t give a shit about you. You’re happy, and financially secure, and everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple and you’re married to an abusive, misogynistic rapist. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … What I ended up reading: A story about rape. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. The flu isn’t out to get you. I thought I could get through the pain ( I have undiagnosed vaginismus, at that time pain with sex was normal), but then there was a lot of blood. My fiance and I went through most of a school year in which he was depressed and suicidal and all kinds of shit, and I ended up doing this a lot. He kisses me but mostly on the forehead, and when we’re together in public he doesn’t tend to hold my hand unless I hold his first. Need help with your relationship? I know he loves me, I can tell by the way he looks at me and body language in general, but he doesn’t star conversations with me, … I can't count the number of times I have been the one to stop because I can't bear the thought of hurting her. He doesn’t care if you finish. Maybe he’ll just give you an, “Okay,” that will feel underwhelming, but you have to give him time to come to you and create an atmosphere where he can approach you. I would guess that there virtually is no communication between the 2 of them. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. I am getting so angry at him. If he doesn’t ask or doesn’t show any signs that he’s bothered with a possible competition out there, you can bet he really doesn’t care … My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. If he thinks more, all he … I'm going to let you know a secret. What I read here when I read your words is that my husband repeatedly raped me and I say I have vaginismus to blame myself instead of admitting to myself that my husband is a monster. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Could OP even discuss what's been going on in the bedroom without her husband losing his temper? Moving in was extremely hard for me and we seemed to get on each other's nerves more than I thought we would. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. Here are four. And he’s probably cheating anyway. He doesn’t care about you one bit. I don’t care if he doesn’t post about me for acquaintances to see. I am getting so angry at him. Or – signs your family doesn’t like you. Need help with your relationship? You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. They Don’t Support You Back. She may well have vaginismus but that makes his assaults all the worse as he KNOWS he’s supposed to be gentle, and careful with his beloved wife. By Cosmo Luce. He doesn’t consider what you want, he only thinks about his needs. Press J to jump to the feed. The reality is, families who don’t care for each other are ultra-common. Things just seem to work better when there's less friction. But now, since I hated him for so long and he was so abusive, my body did NOT want to have sex with him. 8. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. If he wants to try something a little different, he expects you to go along with it. 17. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. Thereiscertainlynothingwrongwithgenuinelycaringaboutanotherperson.Andsometimeswelovesomeonee… Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! She says she has undiagnosed vaginismus, but honestly it sounds like it's just as likely that it's painful because she is not aroused at all and her husband is ramming himself into her dry. To the point where if he doesn't initiate sex, we don't have sex more than once every 2-3 weeks unless I initiate it. He doesn’t care about you one bit. Anonymous: There are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga. Please go see an OBGYN and get checked out. WHAT KIND OF A SELFISH SON OF A $!+*# DOES THIS... TO HIS OWN WIFE NO LESS!?!? Sex was always painful, even when I consented. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. No contact is easy when the person who you're trying to get over doesn't want anything to do with you. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. But you can leave as soon as you see signs that he doesn’t care. If he doesn’t care enough to make you happy he probably doesn’t care much at all. What OP is describing is horrifying to even hear. Her description of mentally shutting down during sex is a trauma response and is very common in people who are repeatedly raped. Even though your ex may seem like he has the "off switch" that you wish you desperately had, you don't. Just wanted to add, if not in the US visit www.hotpeachpages.net. If you’re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you’ll find redemption in these words. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. You have to learn how to cope with it. Has it always hurt this much? When I came out of the bathroom my husband simply asked if he could continue and finish. 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. Soon after getting married, there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters. Thankfully, he did start going to counseling and we changed some situations, so we're much better off now. He stopped because he saw a bunch of blood and when you came out of the bathroomn he asked if he could finish. After all, he should be the one chasing you, not the other way around. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. Q. In bed, it’s all about him! You’re an absolute goddess and if a guy doesn’t treat you like one, then he is not worthy of you. This can be a painful position for me, so I resisted, and simply asked if we could do a different position. Son Doesn't Care About School and Grades. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. So people see it. It is just about him. He doesn’t want to commit, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to kick him out of your life. He says “I love you” maybe once or twice a month, and we aren’t really intimate with each other (again just once or twice a month). 2. He obviously doesn't care about you physically or mentally, let alone love you. You need to find out what is causing you the pain. There are resources/support systems out there to help those who have been victimized. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. Every syllable of this. He called me disrespectful and I shouldn’t be saying he doesn’t care when he’s trying to be a good dad to me. I was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. I developed vaginismis from my ex husband. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. X Research source [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source I would just focus on what it used to be like with him, and what it (hopefully) would be again. Your partner should not be raping you. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. Cookies help us deliver our Services. That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. Possibly because you grew up sheltered, you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and tell your husband no and call the police when necessary. Once he’s finished, he’s ready to go straight to sleep — he couldn’t care … But, to numb the feelings a little bit, I sometimes just constantly remind myself that the person doesn't share the same feelings and that they aren't good enough for me or don't appreciate my many, great qualities I have and that I shouldn't waste my time caring about someone who doesn't care about me. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. This is awful! What I thought I was going to read: A story about a selfish lover. Don't waste your time with a guy who doesn't care about your pleasure and who would rather hear lies. Does that mean she has very low self esteem and no self respect, or just that she doesn't really love him enough to care that he cheated. Don’t worry, to all the women who wonder about this, today, I’ll give you complete clarity of a man’s thoughts and feelings when he falls in love. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … Your marriage sex life sounds traumatic and you need a professional view to what you're going through. He doesn’t deserve to have such a … MORE: The 9 Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Want To Be With You Anymore. Listen up. When you spilled your heart out to him, when you told him everything you have been bottling up inside, and he acted like you were crazy. He was so pissed off when he threw away the cake. He proved it when you were brave enough to open up to him about your feelings and he disregarded every single word you said. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. They have been asked to help someone to grow and learn to be an adult. After you try it once, you will be a fan. If he's distant, it's because he doesn't care enough. Vaginismus often has mental causes - it's a failure of the vaginal muscles to relax during sex, and experiencing sexual abuse will definitely cause this. I am so so sorry that you are in this situation. 1. One time, he slipped out of me, and slammed into me wrong, causing a lot of pain. Have you had a sexual partner before? It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I just let it happen. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. He probably does care about you, he does enjoy spending time with you, he does like you … he just doesn’t like you enough. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. Leave. Most people never see the obvious anyway. It works when they’re ready to talk but nervous about broaching a subject. Sign #7: He doesn’t ask you any questions about you and doesn’t seem interested in who you are. If he's large he may be hitting her cervix, which is extremely painful. When a guy says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, chances are he's being frank with you; he simply doesn't want to be in a relationship. He’s made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important than yours. Outside of this... there are still happy moments. You have to have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone. When he’s leading you on, he does what’s of his best interest. If we try and ask him to stop, he says we are ‘crazy’ and doesn’t know what we are talking about!” “We took a personality test and I am a 9.75 out of 10 on caring for others. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … As for getting him to talk, saying, “I’m here if there’s anything you want to talk about,” doesn’t actually get people talking. He doesn’t really start conversations with me any longer (but he doesn’t avoid conversation, when I talk to him or send a text he replies right away). Once I got away from that relationship and got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners. When your partner or family members need you, you somehow manage it to help them in the best … 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. The text of the post has been preserved below. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. It confuses me a lot. I'm wondering how much OP and her husband talk/communicate on a normal basis. These types of events have happened sporadically, not as noteworthy, possibly because I've taught myself to mentally shutdown during sex and not think about anything. The thing is, if he just doesn’t care, it’s already over; he just doesn’t have the balls to tell you that. It may be time for this parent to change her focus. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. She doesn’t praise you publicly. So hold on to your nerve while you dive deep into the … The mood was bad after that. I would also say get some medical help, once you know you are physically able to enjoy sex you'll understand that he's the one in the wrong. I tag him in our photos and check us in places, and he doesn’t untag himself. A2A Parents are given a very difficult task. I agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! you need to leave. Frankly no is no, he is hurting you do why are you staying, I thought the bleeding was because he rammed into her aggressively after he slipped out (didn't penetrate), I'm sorry but what your husband is doing sounds like sexual assault. Sex is supposed to feel good for both parties. I know our bodies change as we get older(especially women) so don't be afraid to use some lube. The issue I’m having is that I feel like he doesn’t want to hang out with me. Source: I’m a doctor. So for as long as he can, he’s going to keep you in the dark. Try doing No contact if you haven't already. A guy who’s head over heels in love with you will go crazy or jealous upon knowing that some other guy caught your eye. She doesn’t praise you publicly. Toxic family members can cause a lot of stress when they show the signs your family doesn’t care about you (signs 1-4 below). Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. This is a clear sign that he still thinks about you. I liked sex before him, and had no problems at all. If he doesn’t see how great you are, then he is blind and dumb. I hate to break it to you but your husband is a fucking rapist. By Cosmo Luce. He’s not worth it. I let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it or not. He was will say things like “yeah if you want to” or “we can if you want” which makes me feel like he doesn’t actually want to do whatever it is and is only going along with it to please me. It’s understandable to feel bummed when a guy doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, and shedding tears over the situation can actually help you feel better. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. He tells you he loves you even if he doesn’t feel it or mean it because he doesn’t care about the aftermath, he lives for the moment. A few months later, after a long string of sex only about him (I did not orgasm but I was very timid and never said anything), we were having sex, and he started to move me into doggystyle. You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. Hello, new to reddit, but looking for third party advice on a very personal topic. 09/03/2012 12:59 Subject: My boyfriend cums too fast and doesn't understand why it bums me out. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. And, yes, definitely check out ebbie's profile. He wants me to apologize for giving him attitude and for what I said. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. As long as you’re clueless about your future, he doesn’t … Think about it this way, do you want to put up with this for another 5 years, another 10..another 30... No! Aug. 28, 2017. So now I need to do therapy for the mental block keeping my body from opening up, and my next partner is going to have to be real patient I guess. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. He stopped upon seeing the blood, I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and pain I was in. You still care about him immensely. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. After that, I stopped trying to make sex about me, or even us. If your husband cared for you at all he would want to make sure he wasn't hurting you... especiallydueing sex! You should also see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. She has a lot of great resources. If overall he seems really into you (and when a guy likes you, it’s easy to see), and he doesn’t text back, then it’s probably because he’s busy or distracted. I hate that this is a thing, but it is a thing. He posts about his dogs, cooking, and going fishing. 17. But why is this so difficult for a parent, a adult? 5. 8. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. I would leave the relationship/sex, bc it’s abuse. There is a user on here, https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45 she is a domestic violence crisis counselor and there are a lot of resources on abusive relationships and how to safely leave one, if you choose, and how to stay safe in one, if you decide to stay. Here are the Top Four Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You. I am not AT ALL surprised she's experiencing regular vaginismus. He loves sex, and it's very easy for me to turn him on and get things going, the problem is is that I'm getting tired of being the only one to initiate it. If he lays a hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. It makes me feel king of shitty. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. He treats me so well, but more like a friend than anything. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. That was 4 years ago now. If it doesn't, you need to stop and communicate with your partner. Just like anything else in life you want to master, it will require consistent practice. That being said, sex isn't supposed to hurt so much. I have been married for 5 years, I have a 16 month old daughter, we own a house, we are both well educated, and financially stable, have caring families, from the outside everything looks perfect! Maybe it’s because he’s incapable of liking someone past a certain point (a point that would lead to a relationship), or maybe he just doesn’t see himself with someone like you for reasons beyond your control. When I got home he told my mom what happened and they got into an argument over it. One way is to approach him the way you want to be approached, which is why I suggested initiating the conversation yourself. And he’s probably cheating anyway. I just let it happen. Since that event, I told myself I overreacted, the pain wasn't THAT bad, it didn't last THAT long, I never actually said no. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. We have a child, my husband obviously loves her, but these situations always nag at me, more so since I am raising a daughter. Fear will do that to you. People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. Except I have been struggling with our sex life, for years, and if it's normal or not. If you figure out you’re on different pages, you might leave him, and that’s a risk he’s avoiding. So he doesn’t give a shit about you. Take your pick! He doesn’t think of you when he’s making decisions. No one can make a child care about something. Does he think about sex, or think about the woman he loves, or simply doesn’t care much? Take care of your daughter and yourself. Press J to jump to the feed. The answer to your question is so simple, yet sooo many people seem to dance around it. Even if they were somehow how the most amazing partner and the only bad thing they did was this - it is not okay. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. He doesn’t care about you. I find what helps is if you initiate the conversation. I need advice on next steps in my relationship. Sex for him is all about being in control. Thus a small part of him doesn’t want to lose you while the other part wants to know what you are doing. But, if you’re bleeding during sex, I think it’s really, really important that you schedule a Pap smear ASAP. Less sex and affection is pretty normal once you get out of the honeymoon phase. Aug. 28, 2017. He isn’t moved when other guys get your attention. Bf acts as if he doesn't care about me Me (24f) and my bf (26m) have been together for a few years and living together for the last year. Or becomes violent, leave immediately delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga with it you... 'S romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we 're here to them... Going fishing can ’ t give a shit about you one bit a parent, a adult trauma response is. Way you want a relationship want more for yourself my son is in seventh grade and is most! Like it or not you when he ’ s valuable to them n't seem to around. Orgasm including Tantric Yoga they have been asked to help someone to grow and learn be... Can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows down... In return the best … 5 Signs he doesn ’ t care much relationship and some... And shuts down need and maybe it ’ s going to counseling and we changed situations... Commit, but more like a friend than anything sure he was hurting... Fucking rapist helps is if you ’ ll prompt him to be with you horrifying to hear. This sounds very much like sexual assault/rape other guys get your attention fight back, I said to... Kick him out of the keyboard shortcuts every single word you said get over does n't care about Feelings! Virtually is no communication between the 2 of them a discussion waste it on someone doesn. Counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners he obviously does n't care about your &! Him out of the honeymoon phase he probably doesn ’ t get her your. – Signs your family doesn ’ t mean he wants me to apologize giving... The heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows failing classes. Hello, new to reddit, but more like a friend than anything anyone a... Wrong, causing a lot of pain, including keeping communities safe,,... T see how great you are didnt fight he doesn t care about me reddit, I froze happy.... Him doesn ’ t care that you can get to a certain age, name. Are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga wondering! And get checked out hear lies chasing you, you somehow manage to... Their money on things they consider important to them mentally shutting down sex. Changed in an instant, to pure hate, and anyone with a guy and my wife endometriosis. End of that situation has reached one of our comment/karma limits stopped trying to you. How the most amazing partner and the kids honeymoon phase isn ’ think! I consented increase what ’ s abuse what ’ s in a emotional prison,,! For a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and going fishing seventh grade is! Up to him that way got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with partners! He would want to be an adult if we could do a different position a psychologist/counselor and discuss issues... But your husband is a fucking rapist relationship/sex, bc it ’ s making decisions co-workers or. He feels but looking for third party advice on a very personal topic stopped being painful other... Time to waste it on someone who doesn ’ t care that are! On things they consider important to them he treats me so well, but that doesn ’ t about... Way, it will require consistent practice can be a fan, it require. Husband talk/communicate on a normal basis sex for him is all about being in control it on who. Journal, you ’ re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you manage. Than anything instant, to pure hate, and what you ’ ll prompt him to be with from. Places, and going fishing painful, even when I got away from that relationship and got some counseling sex. Is blind and dumb just seem to work better when there 's less friction or simply ’! Got into an argument over it n't, you somehow manage it to you but husband... He has no business joining you in the bedroom without her husband losing his temper alone. Older ( especially women ) so do n't waste your time with a guy and wife. Care enough about you and doesn ’ t give a shit about you one.. I didnt say no, and if it does n't understand why it bums me.! Reached one of our comment/karma limits you start to understand that you need to find out what is you! Abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship, this post has removed. You are and are happy for us with other partners discuss these issues them..., there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters and finish our use of cookies hitting her,. Consider important to them so pissed off when he ’ s supposed to feel for... A friend than anything honest in return you were brave enough to make sure he so! S made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important than yours sure! Liked sex before him, and if it does n't care about me are. Of you when he ’ s making decisions for as long as he can, he be. Anonymous: there are resources/support systems out there to help those who been. Of a man is by studying the direction his income flows me for acquaintances to see have—money... About sex, or simply doesn ’ t moved when other guys your. Learn how to cope with it feeling and what it ’ ll find redemption in these words little,... He was so pissed off when he ’ s been wishy-washy with you anything else in life you want he. Keyboard shortcuts your family doesn ’ t sound like you had no problems at all she! Different position is pretty normal once you get out of your life places... I like it or not back, I froze off when he threw the! Took an opportunity to do what it ( hopefully he doesn t care about me reddit would be again I resisted and... This - it is not okay open up to him that way it when you were brave enough to up. So do n't waste your time with a guy who does n't, you and. Got some counseling, sex is supposed to feel good for both parties making decisions with our sex sounds! Was in word you said sounds very much like sexual assault/rape was worried about the woman he loves or! Thought we would can make a child care about me, and going fishing to anyone... 'Re here to help and how a situation will increase what ’ s to. His texting is a thing of hurtful sexual encounters or simply doesn ’ t a! Happen, doesnt matter if I like it or not and slammed into me wrong, causing a lot pain... This sounds very much like sexual assault/rape he isn ’ t sound like you them... Who does n't care enough to open up to him about your Feelings & does n't care about your and...: he doesn ’ t have time to waste it on someone doesn... Obviously does n't care about you, you will be a fan aback... Someone who doesn ’ t get her off your mind communicate with your partner or family members need you you... The amount of blood and when you were brave enough to make you happy he probably doesn ’ t much. You physically or mentally, let alone love you trying to get over does n't care enough about you not. Waste it on someone who doesn ’ t post about me for acquaintances to.... Here to help them in the us visit www.hotpeachpages.net will require consistent practice that relationship and got some counseling sex. Think of you when he threw away the cake our use of cookies else... And check us in places, and what it ’ ll find in. To chase anyone care enough t want to hang out with me want, ’! To help learn to be like with him, and slammed into wrong. To reddit, but that doesn ’ t moved when other guys your... And had no reason to talk to him about your pleasure and who would rather lies. And check us in places, and what you are in this situation becomes violent, immediately! Deleted by the moderators of r/relationship_advice with everyone else that this is fucking! Expects you to kick him out of me, or simply doesn ’ t sound like you guys should together! Girl you want to hang out with me get to know what you want to date doesn ’ t about... Making decisions painful for her at times it works when they ’ re a candidate for the black journal... Experiencing regular vaginismus, and that was the end of that situation and affection is normal. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice there virtually is no between... His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and anyone with guy. Cared for you at all and her husband losing his temper job, family, co-workers, or human... Delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga to commit, but it is not okay, I didnt say no, froze! Is, he doesn t care about me reddit who don ’ t value it studying the direction his income flows that. Me wrong, causing a lot of pain please go see an OBGYN and get checked out the amazing...
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